Date: 6/5/10

Opponent: Oakland Athletics

Home/Away: Away

Starting Pitcher: Liriano

Final Score: W 4-3

Record: 33-23

Recap: How in the hell did we win that game? That was one of the most bizarre games I've ever witnessed. I must confess I was watching most of the game at the casino, but I believe I was more focused on the game than blackjack. I think it's significant that I started winning as soon as the game ended. I just can't be distracted from the Twins, even when money is at stake.

When I heard that Harris was playing 1st in place of a flu-stricken Morneau, I was concerned, but I was trying to stay positive. But when I found out that Hardy had to be scratched and we now had a Harris-Tolbert-Punto-Valencia infield, I was certain that a loss was in the cards today. Rarely do the stars align in such an unfortunate manner. It was like the baseball gods were playing a cruel, cruel trick on Twins fans. After all, Harris is in a horrible, terrible, awful offensive slump and had 14 career innings at 1st base, Punto is in a slump himself, Tolbert is never not slumping, and Valencia (at the start of the game) had a total of 2 hits in the majors, both of the infield variety. And as if a historically fuckterrible infield weren't enough of a handicap, we also didn't have Morneau or Cuddyer in the lineup, and Span was (and is) in a nasty hitless streak. A win seemed quite impossible.

Oakland scored a run in the 1st inning off Liriano, but after that he was lights out. He pitched a phenomenal game with only 5 hits and 10 strikeouts and just the 1 earned run. The Twins tied the game in the 2nd inning in a somewhat amusing manner. Thome doubled to lead off, then advanced to 3rd on a deep fly ball by Kubel, and then scored on a sac fly hit by Skinny Delmon. It was kind of hilarious watching Thome lumber around the bases. He had to do a lot of running today; hopefully he isn't to tired to play tomorrow. We added 2 more runs in the 6th, again thanks to Skinny Delmon. We loaded the bases with a ground rule double by Mauer, and then a couple of walks by Thome and Kubel. Delmon hit a single to score both Mauer and Thome although Kubel was out at 3rd.

It was looking pretty good for the Twins until Crain took the mound in the 8th and returned to his usual form. He got a fly out before giving up two singles. Then he got a fly out before the real damage was done. Adam Rosales drove an 0-2 pitch to center, and Span ridiculously dove for the ball despite being about 8 feet away from the ball. The ball still would have gotten by him even if he hadn't dove, but he probably could have played it better. Regardless, the game was tied. Burnett got the final out of the inning.

Then in the 9th, an odd sequence of events occured. After 1 out, Morneau came on to pinch-hit for Harris. The A's made the unwise decision to intentionally walk him. I know he's currently the best hitter in the league, but he was incredibly sick. He couldn't even stay in the game to run, and J.J. Hardy had to run for him (which is ridiculous since he has the speed of a paralyzed sloth). Punto drew a walk, but Span hit into a fielder's choice which left runners at 1st and 3rd with 2 outs. Tolbert was up at the plate, and amazingly he got a hit. You could have knocked me over with a feather I was so shocked. I couldn't believe it (I still can't believe it). With the 1-run lead, Giant Man was brought in for the 9th. He gave up a hit but got another save, his 15th. The infield had to be shuffled a bit with Harris and Morneau out of the game. Tolbert took over at 1st, Punto moved to 2nd, and Hardy played short. It was a very strange game. I'm hoping Morneau and Hardy will be healthier tomorrow so we at least have a halfway decent infield. Cross your fingers. I'm also wondering if we'll again have a lead, give it up to tie the game, and then end up eking out a 1-run victory for the third straight game.

Best Moment: Somehow managing a win with such a crap lineup. And Burnett getting his first Major League win.

Most Questionable Moment: Why Jesse Crain? Why?

Worst Moment: The 8th inning.

Quotations of the Day:

• "I'm just glad to get a hit at the right time to help out. Because I hadn't done anything up until that point." - Matt Tolbert
• "Did you see his face? Even Tolbert was surprised he got a hit!" - My sister, after Tolbert drove in the eventual winning run.
• "Screw positive thinking. We're gonna lose." - Me, to my brother after learning Hardy had been scratched from the lineup.
• "I didn't want to see a grown man go to the bathroom in his pants on the field." - Ron Gardenhire, on needing to run for Morneau based on his illness.

Suck-Ass Performance of the Game: Jesse Crain (0.2 innings pitched, 3 hits, 2 earned runs, 1 blown save)