Date: 10/4/09

Opponent: Kansas City Royals

Home/Away: Home

Starting Pitcher: Pavano

Final Score: W 13-4

Record: 86-76

Best Moment: How the hell did that happen? We went into Thursday's game with no room for error. We had to win every game and hope the Tigers faltered over the last 4 games. Incredibly, both happened. The Twins won 4 in a row, and the Tigers lost 3 of 4, bringing us to a tie in the division. Boy, does this feel familiar, or what? I know I can come across as negative and pessimistic sometimes, but believe me, no one wants the Twins to win more than me. I think I'm afraid that by admitting publicly that I hope the Twins will win the division I will somehow unleash a karmic backlash of Twins suckitude. Based on the prior statement, you may conclude that I am paranoid (I am), think the world is out to get me (I do), and think everything revolves around me (also true). But, hey, I've never claimed that I'm not a megalomaniacal sociopath.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled game recap. I attended this game, and I've never been in an environment like that. It was so loud and crazy and exciting. I was only disappointed that the White Sox couldn't defeat the Tigers one more time. The Twins put on quite the show of power. They beat up the Royals with 5 home runs, 2 3-run homers from Kubel, 2 solo home runs from Young, and a 2-run homer off the bat of Cuddyer. Pavano, a late substitute for Duensing and pitching on short rest, wasn't great by any means, but he did enough.

The biggest pitch of the day, however, came from the Twins' own Giant Man, Jon Rauch, who came into the game with the bases loaded and the tying run at the plate. It was the 6th inning, the Royals had already scored 3, and Pavano was pulled with no one on and 2 outs. In came Bobby Keppel, who is inexplicably relied upon by Gardenhire in big situations. Keppel gave up 2 hits, putting runners on 1st and 3rd, still 2 outs. Gardy pulls the plug and makes a move for the lefty-lefty match-up with Ron Mahay. Mahay gets ahead of the batter, and then hits him with a pitch to load the bases. In comes Rauch. All I can think about is Rauch's tendency to pick up wins, so I was instantly filled with a horrible fear: Giant Man gives up a home run and gets the final out to put himself in position for another win. Obviously this was a completely irrational fear; I'm sure Rauch is not intentionally making attempts to put himself in line for wins, but I think I already established my paranoia earlier. The Royals had one of their best hitters up in Billy Butler, AKA Potato Head. But Giant Man took him on and struck him out looking. One of the best moments of the game. Who knows what would have happened if the Royals had gotten a hit there.

Most Questionable Moment: When the White Sox started rallying a bit against the Tigers and Verlander, a "Let's go White Sox!" chant started in the Dome. I participated. I'm feeling a bit dirty. Of course, I also gave my dog the head of an A.J. Pierzynski bobblehead to chew on this weekend, so maybe I'm sending mixed messages. Also kind of weird? When the Twins saw the White Sox score go on the scoreboard from the dugout, Gomez took Gabino's leg in his lap and rubbed it. Maybe it's a magic leg and a genie will pop out and grant him wishes?

Worst Moment: I guess the Dome doesn't want to let go of the Twins. We've got at least 1 more game at the Dome, the dreaded tie-breaker, which feels uncomfortably familiar. I'm praying for a better result this year. I keep replaying last year in my head. This year feels completely different: it's in the Dome, we've been playing the best baseball of the year (instead of struggling down the stretch), we have the bitter memory of last year to motivate us, we don't have any drunken spousal abuse scandals, we've got our best pitcher starting, etc. I just don't trust the universe to let something good happen to me (there's that paranoia/self-absorption again...). I'm praying, crossing my fingers, sacrificing a chicken, voodooing a Porcello doll, and hoping. Win Twins!

Quotations of the Day:

• "But he's not Paul Bunyon." - My brother, after Megan suggested Mauer would hit a home run to the upper deck behind centerfield.
• "I don't want to say they've choked, but, yeah, they have choked. They've choked a little bit, but they have the opportunity to not choke, I guess." - Denard Span, regarding the Tigers.
• "Maybe it will look like wintertime in this place." - Michael Cuddyer, hoping there will be some Homer Hankies flying at the tie-breaker.
• "I didn't feel it. Nothing against the Royals or anybody else, but the way that we're playing, it kind of feels like it did in '06, when we won just about every game. Everybody's stepping up and making it happen." - Jason Kubel, on not worrying about losing the game.
• "That's a shaky feeling for a manager, to be walking out there telling him, 'Let's go, buddy, you've got to get a big out.' And boy did he make a big pitch there at the end." - Ron Gardenhire, referring to Jon Rauch facing Billy Butler with the bases loaded.
• "It's an exciting experience to be part of something like this, being in a place where the fans are so avid about their team." - Jon Rauch
• "It feels good to come back. But it won't mean anything if we don't win Tuesday." - Denard Span
• "I wrote this speech thinking this was going to be it; it's not it. You guys went and screwed up my whole speech. We've got to come back here on Tuesday and drink some more beer.'' - Kent Hrbek, in his speech for what was supposed to be the official last game at the Metrodome.
• "[It was] so electric, I wanted to put on the shoulder pads and helmet and hit somebody. It was surreal." - Denard Span, on the atmosphere in the Dome.
• "Have the Vikings won a Super Bowl in this Dome? Anywhere? OK, then, this is our Dome. At least for a little while longer.'' - Denard Span
• "Everybody's written us off and rightfully so. We looked pretty ugly. But we didn't write ourselves off and that's all that matters." - Ron Gardenhire

Suck-Ass Performance of the Game: Bobby Keppel (0.0 innings pitched, 2 hits) and Ron Mahay (0.0 innings pitched, 1 hit by pitch).